It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Randomize
