A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
