I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
