ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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