Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
