You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
