May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
