My room smells like vodka and shame
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
50% drunk capacity currently
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
