Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Panties = found
Randomize
