Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
whose parrot is this?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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