My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
