I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
