I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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