You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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