Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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