I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
