ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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