It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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