you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
