its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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