I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
