Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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