so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
