Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
50% drunk capacity currently
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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