The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
