time to smoke my breakfast
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
