just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
