first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
