Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
