I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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