Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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