Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
