if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
