Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Acid is not a monday night drug
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
