you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
