Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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