Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
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