I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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