In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
