just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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