Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
