One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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