C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
