the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
