i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
