literally had 100 drinks last night.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
