Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
