so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
