I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
