I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
